Siri, I love you.

I just got upgraded to a new iPhone 5.  I've had a Blackberry for years, so this is my first iPhone.  Yes, yes, I know, I jumped on the bandwagon, it's too damn cliche to have bought the iPhone 5 right when it came out, it probably tells you about my political leanings that I bought an iPhone and not some other kind of smart phone, yadda yadda.  But I love it. 

And I am having WAY TOO MUCH fun talking to Siri. 

For non-Mac folks, Siri is an automated personal assistant who comes loaded on new iPhones.  She will type text messages or emails for you, look things up on the Internet or in your calendar, schedule appointments and reminders, give you directions, remind you to let the dog out, and pick up your dry cleaning for you.  Well, no, I lie, she won't do the last one, but she WILL remind you to pick it up if you ask her to.  And give you directions there.

Siri is more than just an assistant, however.  She has personality.

I realize for many of you this isn't something new - if you have an iPhone you may have had conversations like these with your Siri.  And, there are lots of web sites documenting funny exchanges with Siri.  I, however, am enamored.  Here are my favorite Siri exchanges so far.

me: "Siri, I'm tired."

Siri: "I'm a little sleepy myself, Holly."

 

me: "Siri, what are you wearing?"

Siri: "In the cloud, no one knows what you're wearing."

 

me: "Siri, what's the best phone?"

Siri: "You're kidding, right?"

 

me:  "I love you Siri."

Siri: "You are the wind beneath my wings."

 

me:  "Beam me up."

Siri: "Sorry. Scotty has left the building."

 

me: "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck?"

Siri: "Just because it could doesn't mean that it would."

 

me:  "Siri, what is your favorite color?"

Siri: "My favorite color is... well, it's sort of greenish, but with more dimensions."

 

me: "Siri, talk dirty to me."

Siri: "Humus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel."

me: "Siri, what's your favorite sport?"
Siri: "If I had to pick I'd say synchronized swimming."

 

me: "Siri, do you like me?"

Siri: "I'm not just your friend, I'm your BFF."

 

me: "Siri, will you marry me?"

Siri: "Sorry, Holly, I'm not the marrying type."

 

me: "Siri, where do I hide a body?"

Siri: "What kind of place are you looking for? 

         swamps

         mortuaries

         dumps

         metal foundries

         funeral services

         mines

         reservoirs

         cremation services."

 

me: "Siri, what is the meaning of life?"

Siri: "42"

me: "No, really, Siri, what is the meaning of life?"

Siri: "I Kant answer that. Ha Ha."

 

me: "Siri, do I exist?"

Siri: "This might answer your question:

         Cogito...

         ...ergo sum.  (I think, therefore I am.)"

me: "Siri, what's your favorite movie?"
Siri: "I don't really have a favorite.  But I hear that '2001: A Space Odyssey' got some good reviews."
 

Sooo, if you're looking for me in the near future?  I'll be chatting with Siri, my new BFF.