No! Say it ain't so!

~~~~Part 1~~~~

Headlines on Monday screamed the following:

"EPA: Greenhouse gases are harmful to humans

AP  WASHINGTON - The Environmental Protection Agency took a major step Monday toward regulating greenhouses gases, concluding that climate changing pollution threatens the public health and the environment." 

Um, that should not be news.  Nor should the EPA just be announcing that now.  I did not realize they had not made that "announcement" previously.  Sometimes it disgusts me how political agencies are.  EPA announcing greenhouse gases might be bad for people and the environment strikes me as tantamount to the CDC announcing that H1N1 can make people sick, or Ben Bernanke announcing that the economy contracted a titch in 2008.

I saw this earth shattering headline on the heels of listening to an NPR story that noted the percentage of Americans who believe in global warming is dropping, and is now hovering around 50%.  See article here.  Apparently the scientific agency is listening to public opinion rather than its own scientists.

Oy.  

I consider myself to be fairly jaded and cynical, but this "announcement" by EPA actually caught me off guard. 

Time to ramp up the cynic-o-meter so I'm not surprised next time.

 ~~~~Part 2~~~~

Then parts of this story just plain made me laugh:

"Decking the Halls Can be a Hazard to Your Health"

For those of us who are accident prone, this is not news any more than the announcement that greenhouse gases are harmful is news.  For me, anything presents a possibility of a mishap causing bodily harm.  Add a bunch of extra doo-jobbies and whoozie-whatsits (many of which are made of glass) to the house for me to knock over, trip over, or fall on, and there's bound to be an injury.

The stories about kids getting hurt and the few bits about people getting seriously injured weren't funny, I admit.  But some of the other stories were funny, intentionally or not.

The tidbits that spoke to me the most: 

"On Dec. 12, 2008, a 40-year-old woman tripped over her dog while decorating her Christmas tree and fractured her shinbone." 

Hell, I trip over my dogs and cats while going down the stairs, while cooking with sharp implements, while walking them on rough pavement, while hauling armloads of wood into the house, and while carrying fragile objects.  We joke that they are going to cause death or serious injury at some point, and it's a miracle it hasn't happened yet.  It's inevitable.  I'm not certain holiday decorations even increase the tripping odds - they're about maxed out already in this household, with its 19 paws, 5 tails, and a stump.

"Every year, Dr. Ryan Stanton, a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians, treats at least a couple of injuries caused by so-called “wrap rage,” frustration sparked by people trying to open securely wrapped packages. “I recommend using something a little bit smaller and a little bit safer than the biggest butcher knife you can find,” said Stanton.

Eh hem.  Um, yeah, that would be me, too.  (sheepish grin)  Miss Impatience.  Spouse is constantly removing sharp objects and whatever I'm trying to get into (cans, squash, plastic packaging, cardboard boxes...) from my hands with a look of horrified disbelief on his face.

Holiday Season 2009 resolution:  to limit injuries to the uncontrollable (hound chasing spazzing cat under feet causing me to pitch headlong into Christmas tree with my arms full of overflowing eggnog glasses) instead of the ludicrously stupid (slicing off hand with butcher knife while trying to open $#^&*%! package of AA batteries).