Eviction Notice

For those of you who have been breathlessly following my skunk saga, well, you can't possibly be as breathless as I feel after last night's stench fest.  Egad!  The thing is getting smellier!

After several successive nights of peace, we woke up at 4:00 a.m. gasping for air.  At first we though the house was on fire because it didn't really smell like skunk, it smelled like burning tires.  But a thorough investigation of the house confirmed that it was indeed just Pierre & Co., smelling to high heaven in their peaceful hidey-hole under our dining room.  Any skunk experts out there have an explanation for how he can smell different?

Last night did it.  Pierre is getting his eviction notice tonight.  The order, warrant and judgment were issued by this olfactory Judge, and will be served by the U.S. Marshall (a.k.a. my husband) tonight.  The warrant will be in the form of vinegar soaked rags, coyote calls, booming bass, bright lights, and anything else we can think of to drive the little booger out.  Once he's out, the holes are getting boarded/chicken wired/stoned up.

I just hope we don't accidentally close anyone in there if we close it off after one skunk leaves.  There's the chance there's more than one stinky skunk residing in the deep hole that's been dug into the dirt under the crawl space.  Just in case we accidentally close one in, we're setting a live trap down there loaded with cat food.  I don't think one is supposed to transport any animal that can carry rabies, but if we catch one I'm bending the rule and transporting him succinctly to my property line.

God help me, my house smelled so badly of skunk last night that I keep catching whiffs of it here in my office this morning.  My clothing is permeated with the smell, which is impressive given that my clothing is on the second floor, and Pierre stank below the first floor.  I keep waiting for people's noses to wrinkle as they step into my office...

Ick!